Communication Problems In Relationships

Do you feel like you're always the first one to try to fix your relationship?
Chances are good the answer is "yes." However, you might be surprised to learn that your woman probably thinks she's the "fixer" too!
The truth is, in healthy relationships, both partners should be trying to "fix" the relationship. What we need to learn is how to recognize our partner's efforts, and how men and women communicate differently.

recognize the problems
root of the problem appears to lie in a common communication blunder -- understanding why we talk. Unfortunately, most people assume that men and women talk for the same reasons, when if fact they don't. Women primarily talk to explore their feelings, while men primarily talk to find solutions.
When a woman tries to talk to her partner about a problem, his natural reaction is usually to offer her a solution. He wants to be her hero by solving the problem and instantly becoming Mr. Fix-It, coming to her rescue. The problem is that while Mr. Fix-It is a wonderful addition to a relationship when there's a flat tire or a need for an immediate solution, this persona often causes conflict in relationships.

shut up and listen
Men must give up giving unsolicited advice. Whenever a woman speaks, listen carefully. Make eye contact. Nod your head. Ask questions about her feelings. Tell her you see how that could be really upsetting, difficult, challenging, or frustrating to her. Encourage her to open up, and, above all, do not offer any solutions or try to change her feelings.

communicate and stop fighting
Men and women have very different communication styles. When a man learns how to listen to a woman, she will feel understood, respected and reassured. And when a woman understands why her man reacts to her the way he does, she will be able to better appreciate his good intentions and not get angry. Then, she'll have the freedom to explain her needs so he can communicate even better. Problem solved.

beachbum taped a piece at 9:39 PM